I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
