I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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