idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize