Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
