I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
