forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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