You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
