You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
