just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
