I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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