Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
