I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
