Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
