I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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