you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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