On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
