I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
