The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
