On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
