similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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