"it" just moved
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
