Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
