I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
