As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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