He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
