we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I need moral support for this bender
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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