In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She bit a glass in half.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
