i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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