That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
ugly people sure do ruin things
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
