She's JV to your varsity
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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