the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
