This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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