Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
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