i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
