My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
