How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
