i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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