I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize