Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
