Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
