eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
