the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
