You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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