So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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