Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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