We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
