I cannot find my penis.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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