Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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