could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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