New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
