i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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