You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
