now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
