Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
