"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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