final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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