i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
