; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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