this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
only you would photoshop your dick
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
