***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
