You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize